- Bathroom Musings -
(Sky Tied - Ronald Jenkees)
The quick trips to the bathroom are the ones where you need to be the most vigilant. They're the ones that start out innocently, under the guise of a rapid 'splash and dash'. You've already made a commitments of expedience in these situations; You'll just be a moment, and then you can leave, pick that call back up, start the movie again...
Once you're in there, once your pants hit the floor, and once you've let go the reigns on whatever horribly underpaid muscle in your body that's responsible for preventing an olympic-level display of incontinence at random moments throughout the day, that's when you hear it:
Your colon.
"You...didn't expect to find me here, did you?" it asks. Its voice sounds suspiciously like Ricardo Montalban from that movie in 1982 with the ear slugs. "No book, no tablet, not even a cellphone to entertain you. It was a brave thing, coming in here without anything to occupy you. Very brave to think I wouldn't notice, but ah...also foolish."
Then your abs clench up as you remember the questionable Chinese food that you had delivered the night before, and you realize that he's the one laughing at the superior intellect now.
The quick trips to the bathroom are the ones where you need to be the most vigilant. They're the ones that start out innocently, under the guise of a rapid 'splash and dash'. You've already made a commitments of expedience in these situations; You'll just be a moment, and then you can leave, pick that call back up, start the movie again...
Once you're in there, once your pants hit the floor, and once you've let go the reigns on whatever horribly underpaid muscle in your body that's responsible for preventing an olympic-level display of incontinence at random moments throughout the day, that's when you hear it:
Your colon.
"You...didn't expect to find me here, did you?" it asks. Its voice sounds suspiciously like Ricardo Montalban from that movie in 1982 with the ear slugs. "No book, no tablet, not even a cellphone to entertain you. It was a brave thing, coming in here without anything to occupy you. Very brave to think I wouldn't notice, but ah...also foolish."
Then your abs clench up as you remember the questionable Chinese food that you had delivered the night before, and you realize that he's the one laughing at the superior intellect now.
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