- Bathroom Musings -
(Heading For The Light - Traveling Wilburys)
Here's one that the Facebook people won't see...
A co-worker of mine just got back from Iceland and I had the good fortune to sit down with her to talk about the experience. Somehow, between incredible stories about hiking, culture, food, and scenery, we got onto the topic of bathrooms.
I know, it's hard to fathom how the conversation could have ended up here, but stick with me.
Now, I consider myself slightly more enlightened when it comes to the cultural habits of people outside of the United States, but apparently, there's this thing about squatting over toilets instead of sitting directly on them in order to keep things clean. My friend mentioned that in Iceland, they actually have signs that people have to post if they can't physically maintain the squat and actually have to make contact.
Now...because I'm a complete idiot, the first thing that came to my mind in terms of visual was someone standing ON THE TOILET SEAT. I can't handle that image, because someone would only have to lose their balance once after a hearty lunch of Mexican food, and that restaurant would have to close their bathroom for the week while HazMat cleaned the mess up. It would be the most hilarious chaos and you could absolutely NOT post it on YouTube. Naturally, I crack up in front of said friend while we're having this discussion, and immediately begin to riff on the problems with the proposed solution of squatting over the toilet bowl. "What about pattern dispersal," I ask. "And how do you handle really tall people? That kind of orbital bombardment would be like dropping an orange into the bowl! The mess would be unimaginable!" My friend didn't bother to correct me, because like most of my co-workers, she recognized when I was too far down a rabbit hole to steer back on course, and that she should just wait it out.
Hours later, I'm at home and it finally occurs to me that she was probably talking about people just, you know, hovering over the bowl rather than actually STANDING ON THE SEAT and squatting. Because that makes a ton of sense, and my version absolutely doesn't. But now I'm wondering, see, and there's no better way to sate one's curiosity than taking to the internet.
Except...what would you search for? Is there an even remotely safe way to begin such an investigation without the very justifiable concern that you might end up somewhere on the internet that you really shouldn't be? I typed out a few search strings, and then promptly erased each one, scared about what i might find in the results. Then I opened an incognito tab, typed a few more search strings....and erased them without actually submitting them.
The Google image search results alone would surely send a red flag up to every law enforcement agency on the planet.
So I just sort of...dropped it. Which is legitimate personal growth as far as I'm concerned.
Here's one that the Facebook people won't see...
A co-worker of mine just got back from Iceland and I had the good fortune to sit down with her to talk about the experience. Somehow, between incredible stories about hiking, culture, food, and scenery, we got onto the topic of bathrooms.
I know, it's hard to fathom how the conversation could have ended up here, but stick with me.
Now, I consider myself slightly more enlightened when it comes to the cultural habits of people outside of the United States, but apparently, there's this thing about squatting over toilets instead of sitting directly on them in order to keep things clean. My friend mentioned that in Iceland, they actually have signs that people have to post if they can't physically maintain the squat and actually have to make contact.
Now...because I'm a complete idiot, the first thing that came to my mind in terms of visual was someone standing ON THE TOILET SEAT. I can't handle that image, because someone would only have to lose their balance once after a hearty lunch of Mexican food, and that restaurant would have to close their bathroom for the week while HazMat cleaned the mess up. It would be the most hilarious chaos and you could absolutely NOT post it on YouTube. Naturally, I crack up in front of said friend while we're having this discussion, and immediately begin to riff on the problems with the proposed solution of squatting over the toilet bowl. "What about pattern dispersal," I ask. "And how do you handle really tall people? That kind of orbital bombardment would be like dropping an orange into the bowl! The mess would be unimaginable!" My friend didn't bother to correct me, because like most of my co-workers, she recognized when I was too far down a rabbit hole to steer back on course, and that she should just wait it out.
Hours later, I'm at home and it finally occurs to me that she was probably talking about people just, you know, hovering over the bowl rather than actually STANDING ON THE SEAT and squatting. Because that makes a ton of sense, and my version absolutely doesn't. But now I'm wondering, see, and there's no better way to sate one's curiosity than taking to the internet.
Except...what would you search for? Is there an even remotely safe way to begin such an investigation without the very justifiable concern that you might end up somewhere on the internet that you really shouldn't be? I typed out a few search strings, and then promptly erased each one, scared about what i might find in the results. Then I opened an incognito tab, typed a few more search strings....and erased them without actually submitting them.
The Google image search results alone would surely send a red flag up to every law enforcement agency on the planet.
So I just sort of...dropped it. Which is legitimate personal growth as far as I'm concerned.
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