MOVIE REVIEW: Avengers - Infinity War
(Avengers Theme - Alan Silvestri)
Ten years.
Since the first stinger at the end of Iron Man way back in 2018, we've been waiting for everyone in the MCU to get into the same pool together, and its taken Marvel ten years to do that. In that decade, they've introduced us to a massive cast of characters, some more compelling than others, but every one of them memorable for some reason or another. For those playing at home, let's recap:
Ten years. Now, Avengers - Infinity War is here, and there's really one one question anyone is asking:
Was it worth the wait:
THE SHORT VERSION
Yes. As if you had any doubt.
THE LONG VERSION - HERE THERE BE MILD SPOILERS!
...Seriously, I'm gonna knock this shit out of the park in a second, so if you haven't been to see the movie, this is your last warning.
Still here? On your head be it.
Infinity War is a long movie, and that's good, because there's a lot of stuff to cram into it. Truth be told, they could easily have made it longer and the movie wouldn't have suffered for it. We've been waiting a very long time to get all of these people together in one place, and the story that the Russo brothers, directors for the film, are telling is well worth the two and a half hour running time. Since we're talking about that story, let's cover the four basic storylines that the movie is tracking:
The audio and video are insanely good, as is typically the case in Marvel films. You'll want to go see this one on the biggest screen that you can, and you'll want to go see it more than once because there's so damned much happening that you're likely to miss snippets of conversation. Admittedly, some of this is due to the fact that the audio mix in the film is a little off-balance in a few places, especially in the first third of the film, so there are things that are a bit hard to hear.
Now, of course...we have to talk about the 800-pound gorilla in the room.
When I mentioned earlier that there was only one question left on everyone's mind, I may have been understating things a little. There were actually two questions left on everyone's mind, and the second question had something to do with, "Who will survive this movie?" The answer to that question, without outright spoiling things is, 'Not nearly as many as I thought were gonna'. I found myself shocked and surprised several times during the film. It pulls no punches whatsoever with character deaths, and it makes its intentions very well known within the first 10 minutes of the film. There were audible 'Oh, fuck ME' moments all over this film.
There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself. What's wrong with the film is something that I like to refer to as 'Penn's Gambit'. See, there's this show on television called 'Penn And Teller: Fool Us'. The show revolves around magicians coming onto a stage in front of Penn and Teller, arguably the most skilled team of magicians currently practicing in Hollywood, and trying to perform magic tricks so good that neither Penn nor Teller can figure out how it was done. In the show, Penn Jillette explains, "There is this theory on magic that I believe very much which is, once one thing is seen to be phony, the whole thing crumbles, and it crumbles completely, so it needs to be perfect, or not at all."
And that, right there, is the biggest problem with Infinity War.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE IN THIS MOVIE.
Unfortunately, Marvel has not been shy at all about telling you that there will be additional movies with certain people in them. Because of this, when those people die in Infinity War, their deaths hold no lasting gravity whatsoever. Yes, the moments in the movie are shocking, but there is no lasting emotional impact beyond that. You know, somehow, that those people will return, because Marvel has already told you it will happen. Once you make that connection, you drift out of the 'zone' of the movie and start trying to figure out how the MCU is going to Superman those heroes back to life. This simple thing keeps Infinity War from being an absolute masterpiece and forces it to settle for being a very, very good movie instead.
That'll just have to be good enough.
If you're still reading, I'm going to get into some specifics now that are far more spoilery, so...yeah.
Ten years.
Since the first stinger at the end of Iron Man way back in 2018, we've been waiting for everyone in the MCU to get into the same pool together, and its taken Marvel ten years to do that. In that decade, they've introduced us to a massive cast of characters, some more compelling than others, but every one of them memorable for some reason or another. For those playing at home, let's recap:
- Iron Man
- War Machine
- Captain America
- The Winter Soldier
- Falcon
- The Black Widow
- Nick Fury
- The Incredible Hulk
- Thor
- Loki
- Black Panther
- The Guardians Of The Galaxy
- Dr. Strange
- Vision
- Scarlet Witch
- Hawkeye
- Spider-Man
- Ant-Man
Ten years. Now, Avengers - Infinity War is here, and there's really one one question anyone is asking:
Was it worth the wait:
THE SHORT VERSION
Yes. As if you had any doubt.
THE LONG VERSION - HERE THERE BE MILD SPOILERS!
...Seriously, I'm gonna knock this shit out of the park in a second, so if you haven't been to see the movie, this is your last warning.
Still here? On your head be it.
Infinity War is a long movie, and that's good, because there's a lot of stuff to cram into it. Truth be told, they could easily have made it longer and the movie wouldn't have suffered for it. We've been waiting a very long time to get all of these people together in one place, and the story that the Russo brothers, directors for the film, are telling is well worth the two and a half hour running time. Since we're talking about that story, let's cover the four basic storylines that the movie is tracking:
- STORYLINE 1: Iron Man, Spider-Man, Dr. Strange, Star Lord, Drax, Gamora, and Mantis are all trying to keep Thanos from getting his hand on the Reality, Soul, and Time stones.
- STORYLINE 2: Groot, Rocket, and Thor are trying to forge a new weapon that could be used to defeat Thanos.
- STORYLINE 3: Captain America, Falcon, War Machine, Black Widow, Bruce Banner, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Black Panther, and the rest of Wakanda are trying to keep Thanos from getting his hand on the Mind stone.
- STORYLINE 4: Thanos is, you guessed it, trying to get his hands on all of the Infinity Stones.
The audio and video are insanely good, as is typically the case in Marvel films. You'll want to go see this one on the biggest screen that you can, and you'll want to go see it more than once because there's so damned much happening that you're likely to miss snippets of conversation. Admittedly, some of this is due to the fact that the audio mix in the film is a little off-balance in a few places, especially in the first third of the film, so there are things that are a bit hard to hear.
Now, of course...we have to talk about the 800-pound gorilla in the room.
When I mentioned earlier that there was only one question left on everyone's mind, I may have been understating things a little. There were actually two questions left on everyone's mind, and the second question had something to do with, "Who will survive this movie?" The answer to that question, without outright spoiling things is, 'Not nearly as many as I thought were gonna'. I found myself shocked and surprised several times during the film. It pulls no punches whatsoever with character deaths, and it makes its intentions very well known within the first 10 minutes of the film. There were audible 'Oh, fuck ME' moments all over this film.
There is nothing wrong with this in and of itself. What's wrong with the film is something that I like to refer to as 'Penn's Gambit'. See, there's this show on television called 'Penn And Teller: Fool Us'. The show revolves around magicians coming onto a stage in front of Penn and Teller, arguably the most skilled team of magicians currently practicing in Hollywood, and trying to perform magic tricks so good that neither Penn nor Teller can figure out how it was done. In the show, Penn Jillette explains, "There is this theory on magic that I believe very much which is, once one thing is seen to be phony, the whole thing crumbles, and it crumbles completely, so it needs to be perfect, or not at all."
And that, right there, is the biggest problem with Infinity War.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE IN THIS MOVIE.
Unfortunately, Marvel has not been shy at all about telling you that there will be additional movies with certain people in them. Because of this, when those people die in Infinity War, their deaths hold no lasting gravity whatsoever. Yes, the moments in the movie are shocking, but there is no lasting emotional impact beyond that. You know, somehow, that those people will return, because Marvel has already told you it will happen. Once you make that connection, you drift out of the 'zone' of the movie and start trying to figure out how the MCU is going to Superman those heroes back to life. This simple thing keeps Infinity War from being an absolute masterpiece and forces it to settle for being a very, very good movie instead.
That'll just have to be good enough.
If you're still reading, I'm going to get into some specifics now that are far more spoilery, so...yeah.
- The Guardians Of The Galaxy are, next to Ant-Man, the weakest link of the MCU BY FAR in my opinion. This is no more evident than when you hold them up against the other heroes in the MCU, which you are allowed to do with frequency in Infinity War. They were entertaining movies on their own, but no one from that cast can stand toe to toe with any of the other core heroes. There's this scene where Star Lord and Thor are arguing, and Star Lord puffs himself up to try and look better to everyone else on his ship. Every single interaction where the Guardians are concerned feels like this. They're not as smart as the other heroes. They're not as mature. They're children.
- And while we're talking about how much less the Guardians are, let me bag on Peter Quill for a moment. Let's talk about how much of a useless, petulant child he is. He can't be an adult with Thor. He can't be an adult with Tony. For one brief moment, he realizes the horrible necessity of killing Gamora during the first part of the film, and it's a brutal, powerful moment. He fails to continue to use this intellect later when, on the brink of victory against Thanos, he can't keep this shit together long enough to finish the job. As an aside, did anyone else see the excellent symmetry in Tony Stark trying to convince Quill to keep his shit in check in the face of his beloved's killer? Civil War, anyone?
- Literally everything about Iron Man's armor was excellent. I want to go back and watch the movie in slow motion just so I can bask in the excellence of every last frame of him doing cool shit in that armor. My only complaint is the fact that we didn't get to see nearly enough of it in action. You can't put Iron Man in a movie with BAD-ASS new armor and not allow us to glut ourselves upon it, Marvel. That's just mean.
- Literally everything about the Iron Spider suit was also excellent. See the above comment about glutting ourselves. Especially the legs. Also, Peter Parker's knowledge of old movies is amazing, and whoever writes his character is a national treasure.
- This movie really, really makes me want Dr. Strange 2. I could watch Dr. Strange and Wong interface with each other all day. It's amazing. Also, Wong is invited to Tony's wedding, which made me laugh out loud in the theater.
- Pretty much every aspect of the Thor storyline in this film is delicious. Thor has evolved more than any other character in the MCU with the very, very possible exception of Stark, and Infinity War is yet another stage of his evolution. When he arrives in Wakanda, I almost stood up in my chair and screamed. Also, as I mentioned before, Thor just makes Rocket and Groot look better. They are both better for being in his presence.
- I know I'm supposed to give a shit about Wanda and Vision, but I'm afraid I don't. I care about the Vision's struggles to learn more about himself, to grow into something more, but their relationship doesn't matter to me at all. It was never allowed to mature in front of me, therefor I found myself far less invested in it than I should have been.
- Wanda Maximoff is a useless, magic-juggling fence-sitter. She can't decide if she's going to become a bad-ass or sit in the corner and whine about her life. Her indecision is responsible for a lot of horrible shit in three different movies now. This would be less of an issue if the MCU didn't go out of its way to wrap so much of the movies around her. Yes, the other heroes have hangups too, but every one of them is handled better than Wanda.
- Not nearly enough time with Bruce and Nat. That is all.
- Bucky is useless and a pointless addition to this film. My only regret is that he will not stay dead.
- Steve Rogers' beard deserves its own billing. Damn. Bucky's child-beard can bring Steve's beard coffee when it needs it. And possibly a bagel.
- The Dora Milaje are still bad, bad women. Okoye has successfully out Wonder Woman'd Wonder Woman for two movies in a row. Anyone wondering how to make women look smart, powerful, and capable without rubbing any of it in your face needs to take notes.
- There was no Ant-Man in this movie, which is part of the reason why it was so very good.
- There was no Hawkeye in this movie, which made me very sad. Sorry, but after Age Of Ultron, I really took a shining to him.
- If Quicksilver somehow gets brought back to life as a result of Avengers 4, I will revolt.
- Bruce Banner and the Hulk are a self-contained buddy cop movie, and I love it.
- PETER FUCKING DINKLAGE IS STILL MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.
- Winston Duke makes T'Challa look like a child. I want a M'Baku movie, please.
- I nearly shit my pants when the Red Skull popped up, and then was quietly sad when I realized that Hugo Weaving wasn't voicing him anymore. Come on, Marvel. If you're gonna ring our collective bells with this shit, go all the way.
- I knew Captain Marvel was coming, but the tie-in with the stinger was awesome.
- Anyone else raise an eyebrow about the bit where Thanos knows Tony Stark??
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