MOVIE REVIEW: Bloodshot
(If I Ever Get Around To Living - John Mayer)
For better or worse, no one can argue that cinema has been living in the age of superheroes for over a decade now. Said age has been primarily dominated by Marvel and their massive stable of entertaining films, with one or two notable entries from DC sprinkled through the landscape as well. Now, Valiant Comics is attempting to get into the game with their character 'Bloodshot'. Do they have any hope of competing with the current players?
THE SHORT VERSION:
Bloodshot is a good first effort from a new player. The truth of things will be held in their sophomore effort.
THE LONG VERSION:
That's...sort of a nebulous 'Short Version' now that I sit here and think about it.
As I mentioned above, 'Bloodshot' is a Valiant Comics IP. It's not Marvel. It's not DC. As such, the feel of the film is very different. Some of those differences are good things, and some are bad.
This is normally where I start being vague about the movie and its story, but I don't really have to do that with this film because of the Trailers. Whoever put the trailers together gave away the single biggest plot-point in the entire film, so I'm not really worried about spoilers.
...This is the part where I tell you that if you haven't seen the trailers, you should probably stop reading.
Still here? Okie dokie.
Bloodshot is the story of a stereotypical movie soldier who gets killed in the field and brought back to life with the assistance of the movie's MacGuffin, nanobots! Said nanobots basically make the soldier invincible, stronger, faster, etc. etc. It's not an original thought at all. Once the soldier realizes that he's basically unkillable, he goes after the people that got him dead in the first place. Some CG Porn happens -- and it's actually very cool CG Porn -- and then that twist I was talking about happens.
Turns out, the soldier's past is all a lie and the company behind the nanobots is also messing with his memories to point him at whatever target they choose. The soldier finds out about this and does precisely what you'd expect him to do.
Roll credits.
Bloodshot is not a surprising film. It's not a thought-provoking one. The first 20 minutes of it are agonizingly slow build-up to what you know is coming. Get past that 20 minutes -- which includes an utterly pointless shot of Talulah Riley's backside in underwear -- and the movie takes off in a mindless, entertaining, CG-filled action movie romp.
Here's what's good about this movie:
- After that 20 minute mark, the film starts moving and never stops.
- Some of its sequences are absolutely gorgeous, and most of its CG is as well.
- Lamorne Morris' character is clearly Bloodshot's Man In The Chair, and he's utterly hilarious. If they can figure out how to properly use him in the sequel, they're set. He steals every scene that he's in.
- For the most part, Vin Diesel is a meathead action star, but there is one scene in the middle of the film that really showcases what range he has. When Guy Pierce's character starts building the world around him, strap in.
- The underwater Kata scene with Eliza Gonzales is pretty cool.
- As a whole, this movie doesn't try to be anything that it's not.
Here's what's ... sort of really bad about this movie:
- Marvel has gotten us used to well thought-out stories. In the grand scheme of things, there aren't that many serious plot holes in Marvel movies. There are a TON of plot holes in this movie. There are a ton of unanswered questions. This is less of an adult movie and more of an action fairy tale.
- For all of the excellent writing surrounding the character of Wigans, there is some equally painful writing that Diesel has to suffer through.
- There's...just a lot of stuff in this movie that's very non-sequitur. Example: Somewhere along the line, it's disclosed that the soldier's nanobots have WiFi, and they can hook up to the internet to get data. That's never really talked about, it just sort of... happens.
- The film feels...short. The run time is around an hour and fifty minutes, but it feels much shorter than that.
- Guy Pierce's character is just sort of wasted.
- You can build tech that rebuilds body parts, but you still got henchmen that you've decided to use a ton of OTHER tech on instead of simply rebuilding them. It just doesn't make sense.
Yeah. You can't watch Bloodshot with your brain on. If they can fix a lot of the tuning problems in the second film, I think Valiant will really be onto something, but for now, this is one of those films that's just...pretty good. I believe the word I used for it in the theater was, 'Cute'. Still, it could have been worse.
It could have been Green Lantern.
For better or worse, no one can argue that cinema has been living in the age of superheroes for over a decade now. Said age has been primarily dominated by Marvel and their massive stable of entertaining films, with one or two notable entries from DC sprinkled through the landscape as well. Now, Valiant Comics is attempting to get into the game with their character 'Bloodshot'. Do they have any hope of competing with the current players?
THE SHORT VERSION:
Bloodshot is a good first effort from a new player. The truth of things will be held in their sophomore effort.
THE LONG VERSION:
That's...sort of a nebulous 'Short Version' now that I sit here and think about it.
As I mentioned above, 'Bloodshot' is a Valiant Comics IP. It's not Marvel. It's not DC. As such, the feel of the film is very different. Some of those differences are good things, and some are bad.
This is normally where I start being vague about the movie and its story, but I don't really have to do that with this film because of the Trailers. Whoever put the trailers together gave away the single biggest plot-point in the entire film, so I'm not really worried about spoilers.
...This is the part where I tell you that if you haven't seen the trailers, you should probably stop reading.
Still here? Okie dokie.
Bloodshot is the story of a stereotypical movie soldier who gets killed in the field and brought back to life with the assistance of the movie's MacGuffin, nanobots! Said nanobots basically make the soldier invincible, stronger, faster, etc. etc. It's not an original thought at all. Once the soldier realizes that he's basically unkillable, he goes after the people that got him dead in the first place. Some CG Porn happens -- and it's actually very cool CG Porn -- and then that twist I was talking about happens.
Turns out, the soldier's past is all a lie and the company behind the nanobots is also messing with his memories to point him at whatever target they choose. The soldier finds out about this and does precisely what you'd expect him to do.
Roll credits.
Bloodshot is not a surprising film. It's not a thought-provoking one. The first 20 minutes of it are agonizingly slow build-up to what you know is coming. Get past that 20 minutes -- which includes an utterly pointless shot of Talulah Riley's backside in underwear -- and the movie takes off in a mindless, entertaining, CG-filled action movie romp.
Here's what's good about this movie:
- After that 20 minute mark, the film starts moving and never stops.
- Some of its sequences are absolutely gorgeous, and most of its CG is as well.
- Lamorne Morris' character is clearly Bloodshot's Man In The Chair, and he's utterly hilarious. If they can figure out how to properly use him in the sequel, they're set. He steals every scene that he's in.
- For the most part, Vin Diesel is a meathead action star, but there is one scene in the middle of the film that really showcases what range he has. When Guy Pierce's character starts building the world around him, strap in.
- The underwater Kata scene with Eliza Gonzales is pretty cool.
- As a whole, this movie doesn't try to be anything that it's not.
Here's what's ... sort of really bad about this movie:
- Marvel has gotten us used to well thought-out stories. In the grand scheme of things, there aren't that many serious plot holes in Marvel movies. There are a TON of plot holes in this movie. There are a ton of unanswered questions. This is less of an adult movie and more of an action fairy tale.
- For all of the excellent writing surrounding the character of Wigans, there is some equally painful writing that Diesel has to suffer through.
- There's...just a lot of stuff in this movie that's very non-sequitur. Example: Somewhere along the line, it's disclosed that the soldier's nanobots have WiFi, and they can hook up to the internet to get data. That's never really talked about, it just sort of... happens.
- The film feels...short. The run time is around an hour and fifty minutes, but it feels much shorter than that.
- Guy Pierce's character is just sort of wasted.
- You can build tech that rebuilds body parts, but you still got henchmen that you've decided to use a ton of OTHER tech on instead of simply rebuilding them. It just doesn't make sense.
Yeah. You can't watch Bloodshot with your brain on. If they can fix a lot of the tuning problems in the second film, I think Valiant will really be onto something, but for now, this is one of those films that's just...pretty good. I believe the word I used for it in the theater was, 'Cute'. Still, it could have been worse.
It could have been Green Lantern.
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