IN RETROSPECT: A Month Away From Facebook
(Now That We're Dead - Metallica)
I really don't dig on social media.
That fact surprises people who don't know me that well. They're perfectly aware of how much I love technology. They know I'm into computers, into IoT, into smart phones, connected peripherals, and other forms of connected electronics. I run a blog. I have a YouTube channel.
In spite of all of that, I don't Twitter. I don't Instagram. I don't SnapChat. The one line I crossed was Facebook, and I was years late to that when compared to the other people I hung out with that were interested in similar things. When I finally did jump into Zuckerberg's pit, it was so that I could keep track of pictures of my brother's children. Slowly but surely, I connected with more and more people. I started using Messenger and Facebook events. I posted a great deal more. And, for a time, I forgot. I forgot why it took me so long to join Facebook in the first place.
Then, someone I respect a great deal decided to climb out of the pit, and it woke up the sleeper in my brain. Eventually, it led me towards my own exodus from Facebook at the beginning of 2019.
Several of my old Facebook friends have since approached me and asked three very specific questions, and I felt the answers to them were important.
Question 1: Why did you leave?
Question 2: What has changed for you?
Question 3: Was it worth it?
The easy answer to the first question is, "Social media is a festering, bottomless chasm filled with some of the worst parts of humanity, along with a few cute cat pictures, and the cat pictures weren't doing it for me anymore." The more complicated answer is, "Because I have a big mouth, poor impulse control, and so many better things to do with my time."
Here, in this place where you can reach more people virtually in seconds than you may ever meet in your entire life, so many people can only talk about things that isolate or segregate rather than reveling in the communion you can share with countless others. I got tired of it.
Somewhere along the line, people started forgetting that humans are in this mess together, and that triumph almost always comes through togetherness. If I want to have conversations with someone about a really cool article I read online, I'll make a phone call. I'll schedule a dinner date. I'll bring my friends over and record a vlog entry. I'll have a damn good time doing these things, and I'll build memories and real relationships.
As to the second question, "What has changed for you?" the answer is, I have more time for things I enjoy, like new indie games and learning to play guitar with my wonderful wife. I have more time to read books and amazing articles online. I get more work done in a day. I am happier. without seeing the day's bumper crop of idiocy on the internet.
I do miss the occasional jewel that crops up. I miss Mike Rowe's excellent show, "Returning The Favor." I miss the pictures that I see of my family. Thankfully, I have a niece that keeps me up to date on most things.
"But Steve," you cry, "Why don't you just trim your friends list and only have data from people you like on your thread?"
Two reasons:
1. The people I'm -really- close to? I see them often enough that it's not that big of a deal, and I have relationships with them outside of Facebook.
2. The Social Contract. If you don't know what this is, drop me a line. We'll get coffee.
Was it worth it? Social Media is a drug that we have not figured out how to ingest in moderation. It is a tool that we are not responsible enough to use properly. It is knowledge without wisdom, power without responsibility or consequence. Was it worth getting away from that?
Yeah. You bet it was.
I really don't dig on social media.
That fact surprises people who don't know me that well. They're perfectly aware of how much I love technology. They know I'm into computers, into IoT, into smart phones, connected peripherals, and other forms of connected electronics. I run a blog. I have a YouTube channel.
In spite of all of that, I don't Twitter. I don't Instagram. I don't SnapChat. The one line I crossed was Facebook, and I was years late to that when compared to the other people I hung out with that were interested in similar things. When I finally did jump into Zuckerberg's pit, it was so that I could keep track of pictures of my brother's children. Slowly but surely, I connected with more and more people. I started using Messenger and Facebook events. I posted a great deal more. And, for a time, I forgot. I forgot why it took me so long to join Facebook in the first place.
Then, someone I respect a great deal decided to climb out of the pit, and it woke up the sleeper in my brain. Eventually, it led me towards my own exodus from Facebook at the beginning of 2019.
Several of my old Facebook friends have since approached me and asked three very specific questions, and I felt the answers to them were important.
Question 1: Why did you leave?
Question 2: What has changed for you?
Question 3: Was it worth it?
The easy answer to the first question is, "Social media is a festering, bottomless chasm filled with some of the worst parts of humanity, along with a few cute cat pictures, and the cat pictures weren't doing it for me anymore." The more complicated answer is, "Because I have a big mouth, poor impulse control, and so many better things to do with my time."
Here, in this place where you can reach more people virtually in seconds than you may ever meet in your entire life, so many people can only talk about things that isolate or segregate rather than reveling in the communion you can share with countless others. I got tired of it.
Somewhere along the line, people started forgetting that humans are in this mess together, and that triumph almost always comes through togetherness. If I want to have conversations with someone about a really cool article I read online, I'll make a phone call. I'll schedule a dinner date. I'll bring my friends over and record a vlog entry. I'll have a damn good time doing these things, and I'll build memories and real relationships.
As to the second question, "What has changed for you?" the answer is, I have more time for things I enjoy, like new indie games and learning to play guitar with my wonderful wife. I have more time to read books and amazing articles online. I get more work done in a day. I am happier. without seeing the day's bumper crop of idiocy on the internet.
I do miss the occasional jewel that crops up. I miss Mike Rowe's excellent show, "Returning The Favor." I miss the pictures that I see of my family. Thankfully, I have a niece that keeps me up to date on most things.
"But Steve," you cry, "Why don't you just trim your friends list and only have data from people you like on your thread?"
Two reasons:
1. The people I'm -really- close to? I see them often enough that it's not that big of a deal, and I have relationships with them outside of Facebook.
2. The Social Contract. If you don't know what this is, drop me a line. We'll get coffee.
Was it worth it? Social Media is a drug that we have not figured out how to ingest in moderation. It is a tool that we are not responsible enough to use properly. It is knowledge without wisdom, power without responsibility or consequence. Was it worth getting away from that?
Yeah. You bet it was.
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