ENTERTAINMENT REVIEW: Blade And Timber Axe Throwing
(Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys)
There's this moment in the 1996 movie 'Twister' where the two main characters are running from a Tornado and elect to take shelter in a barn, only to discover that the barn itself is full of long knives, scythes, and other bladed farm implements. This is a solid gold moment in the movie because in the instant that it takes you to laugh, shake your head, and mutter, "There's no way that'll end well," you can clearly see the heroes making the same assessment. There's just no reality in which staying in a room full of sharp objects moving at high velocity won't end badly.
That's precisely how it feels when you walk into Blade And Timber Axe Throwing.
Before you go any farther in this review, understand that I had a lot of fun at Blade And Timber. 90 minutes positively flew past while I, along with five of my friends, threw an axe at a target. The venue was clean, the staff were all polite, and the cost for the six of us to rent the lane we were throwing in was around $20 a person, which isn't bad when held up against other forms of group entertainment in the area. Chucking axes down the way at a target was an absolute hoot that absolutely tickled a more primitive part of my brain, and I think everyone should give it a try at least once.
...That said, I probably would have had more fun though if I wasn't completely and utterly preoccupied with every other person in the building though.
Why was I so preoccupied, you ask?
The layout of Blade And Timber is pretty simple. It's a great deal like a bowling alley in that there are lanes that you throw your axe down. Each lane is separated by a sturdy wood and wire barrier that keeps you from accidentally killing the thrower on either side of you as you hurl your axe at the wooden target board at the end of the lane. Like a bowling alley, each lane has a table and a collection of stools for people to sit at while waiting to throw. Like a bowling alley, there are throwing games to play, and instructions on how to score those games are neatly displayed in a little book at each table. Like a bowling alley, it's -very- crowded and -very- loud. And like a bowling alley, the potential exists to have a great deal of fun with a group of your friends or family.
That's....kind of where the similarities to bowling end though.
Blade And Timber is a public venue in the heart of Overland Park that allows you to walk in, pick up an axe that is real and functional in every way, and hurl it at lethal velocity at a wooden target board.
In large groups.
With no real training.
While drinking.
In very close proximity to one another.
Just...let that sink in for a minute.
If you're like me, you'll be somewhat blown away that a place like this even exists, let alone exists successfully. And believe me, they're doing a brisk trade. The place was packed full, and we only got in because we made a reservation days in advance. This was at 9pm on a Saturday. Who was it packed with? Primarily groups of 20 and early 30-somethings in skinny jeans, furry shoes, and knee-high boots. At least half of the people in these those groups were women.
They were all having the time of their lives, based on the screaming. Either that, or someone had finally succumbed to the laws of inevitability in this type of a situation, but based on the sheer volume of screaming and the lack of medical personnel on site, I have to assume it was the former and not the latter.
I? I couldn't stop shaking my head, marveling at the many, many ways that the night was going to end badly for any number of the people in that venue. For me, axes aren't toys. They're tools, and misusing them wasn't something I was keen to do, especially in a crowded room full of people I didn't know with varying levels of sobriety.
Don't get me wrong, some very serious men in bright orange shirts gave us a two-minute lecture on what not to do with the axe and how to behave when throwing it. A whole two minutes. Then each of us got to go up and make a few coached throws. And then we were cut loose to do whatever we wanted with the lane's one throwing axe, and the person in the orange shirt sort of wandered away.
I'll say again that I had an absolute gas hanging out with my friends and throwing bare metal at a hunk of wood. I'll also say that I've known several of the men I was with that evening very well, which is how I knew that they understood blade safety, how I knew they wouldn't be drinking while they were doing this, and thus how I felt much, much safer being in their lane. I would never, ever do this with people I wasn't absolutely sure respected that axe.
That said, accidents can and will happen, and given the equipment in use, it won't be nearly as entertaining as a dropped bowling ball when it does. B&T's website makes a point of pointing out that each of their employees is trained in Axe Safety, which would be nice if they were the ones throwing the axe all the time. They're not though. Because of that, if you're like me, you'll spend as much time looking around and wincing as you will watching your friends do their work.
Right up until it's your turn again, at which point you'll gleefully bounce up and throw another axe.
And no, in spite of my incredulity, no one was hurt the entire time I was there. I hear they're opening one of these up in Lawrence though. Which is, in no way, tempting fate.
There's this moment in the 1996 movie 'Twister' where the two main characters are running from a Tornado and elect to take shelter in a barn, only to discover that the barn itself is full of long knives, scythes, and other bladed farm implements. This is a solid gold moment in the movie because in the instant that it takes you to laugh, shake your head, and mutter, "There's no way that'll end well," you can clearly see the heroes making the same assessment. There's just no reality in which staying in a room full of sharp objects moving at high velocity won't end badly.
That's precisely how it feels when you walk into Blade And Timber Axe Throwing.
Before you go any farther in this review, understand that I had a lot of fun at Blade And Timber. 90 minutes positively flew past while I, along with five of my friends, threw an axe at a target. The venue was clean, the staff were all polite, and the cost for the six of us to rent the lane we were throwing in was around $20 a person, which isn't bad when held up against other forms of group entertainment in the area. Chucking axes down the way at a target was an absolute hoot that absolutely tickled a more primitive part of my brain, and I think everyone should give it a try at least once.
...That said, I probably would have had more fun though if I wasn't completely and utterly preoccupied with every other person in the building though.
Why was I so preoccupied, you ask?
The layout of Blade And Timber is pretty simple. It's a great deal like a bowling alley in that there are lanes that you throw your axe down. Each lane is separated by a sturdy wood and wire barrier that keeps you from accidentally killing the thrower on either side of you as you hurl your axe at the wooden target board at the end of the lane. Like a bowling alley, each lane has a table and a collection of stools for people to sit at while waiting to throw. Like a bowling alley, there are throwing games to play, and instructions on how to score those games are neatly displayed in a little book at each table. Like a bowling alley, it's -very- crowded and -very- loud. And like a bowling alley, the potential exists to have a great deal of fun with a group of your friends or family.
That's....kind of where the similarities to bowling end though.
Blade And Timber is a public venue in the heart of Overland Park that allows you to walk in, pick up an axe that is real and functional in every way, and hurl it at lethal velocity at a wooden target board.
In large groups.
With no real training.
While drinking.
In very close proximity to one another.
Just...let that sink in for a minute.
If you're like me, you'll be somewhat blown away that a place like this even exists, let alone exists successfully. And believe me, they're doing a brisk trade. The place was packed full, and we only got in because we made a reservation days in advance. This was at 9pm on a Saturday. Who was it packed with? Primarily groups of 20 and early 30-somethings in skinny jeans, furry shoes, and knee-high boots. At least half of the people in these those groups were women.
They were all having the time of their lives, based on the screaming. Either that, or someone had finally succumbed to the laws of inevitability in this type of a situation, but based on the sheer volume of screaming and the lack of medical personnel on site, I have to assume it was the former and not the latter.
I? I couldn't stop shaking my head, marveling at the many, many ways that the night was going to end badly for any number of the people in that venue. For me, axes aren't toys. They're tools, and misusing them wasn't something I was keen to do, especially in a crowded room full of people I didn't know with varying levels of sobriety.
Don't get me wrong, some very serious men in bright orange shirts gave us a two-minute lecture on what not to do with the axe and how to behave when throwing it. A whole two minutes. Then each of us got to go up and make a few coached throws. And then we were cut loose to do whatever we wanted with the lane's one throwing axe, and the person in the orange shirt sort of wandered away.
I'll say again that I had an absolute gas hanging out with my friends and throwing bare metal at a hunk of wood. I'll also say that I've known several of the men I was with that evening very well, which is how I knew that they understood blade safety, how I knew they wouldn't be drinking while they were doing this, and thus how I felt much, much safer being in their lane. I would never, ever do this with people I wasn't absolutely sure respected that axe.
That said, accidents can and will happen, and given the equipment in use, it won't be nearly as entertaining as a dropped bowling ball when it does. B&T's website makes a point of pointing out that each of their employees is trained in Axe Safety, which would be nice if they were the ones throwing the axe all the time. They're not though. Because of that, if you're like me, you'll spend as much time looking around and wincing as you will watching your friends do their work.
Right up until it's your turn again, at which point you'll gleefully bounce up and throw another axe.
And no, in spite of my incredulity, no one was hurt the entire time I was there. I hear they're opening one of these up in Lawrence though. Which is, in no way, tempting fate.
How did a business ever get even basic liability insurance for this activity???!!!!!
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